With Dan O'Shea — "The Procrastinator"
"The news doesn't wait for anyone. But I do. And now that I'm here, you're welcome, Nation."
The latest dispatch from America's most fashionably late anchor desk.
Episode 1: "I'm Back. You're Welcome."
Coming Soon — The Procrastinator Returns
After a decade off the grid — just gaming, minding my own business, being handsome — The Procrastinator returns to find out Colbert left the desk, betrayed everything we stood for, and somehow the world got worse. Impossible, I know. But here I am to fix it. You're welcome, Nation.
Real news. Real late. Really right. Because I'm never wrong, and that's a fact I just made up but it's still true.
Give me a moment, Nation. Even procrastinators have limits. Actually, we don't. That's the whole point.
"Now Nation, you know you're my favorite. My Procrasti-Nation — my nation of procrastinators just like me. Just not as handsome, or as rich, or as smart. But just like me in every other way."— Dan O'Shea, The Procrastinator
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